8 bars of fiyahh

[RiZal]

Positive feedback or constructive criticism
I welcome it all DON'T SLEEP ON IT



My whole life in this rap game, you know I fight to win
Rhymes staying sick so no, don't need no vitamins //
Rivals if they get too close, then I'ma psych em in
Yes I'm at the end of the tunnel, but the light is dim //
I can see, demons and the Devil are ahead of me
Steadily, cleverly I devastate my enemies //
I revel beef, never try to beat cause I never bleed
A pedigree, of a higher quality a better breed //
Higher than a building ( puff puff ) I'm smellin trees
Enemies, always ask for mercy but it's never peace //
I go in the studio they know my flow is heavenly
Bars of similes I welcome plenty to my weaponry //
Haters hate but they know I'm the bomb cause I be mentally
Haunting competition then I stomp em like a centipede //
Sentiments forgotten when I'm droppin on the better beats
Tell to keep talking but quit stalling and prepare for me //

[RiZal]

Uppin it...

[steven]

why? it was already up...

[RiZal]

Just postin to keep it alive

[RiZal]

This site ain't really bumping
Someone direct me to better ones ?

[steven]

CC...but im not sure if you meet the skill level

lol jk....kinda

[RiZal]

CC ? I admit I'm not the dopest emcee around like all these net rappers
But I'm grinding out here in Montreal done did shows and radio interviews and been in music videos lol...I'm here to elevate my skills lyrically you know

[~LoOsE_LoGiC~]

ive had my own albums out n all kinds of shit too been rappin since i was 10 i'm a vet of a higher calibur that spits howitzers nither of you should be thinkin ya the best no one is... sum ppl have more raw talent sum need a lil work to get there n theres always sumone better then you.... now constructive feedback:


My whole life in this rap game, you know I fight to win
Rhymes staying sick so no, don't need no vitamins //

generic steriotypical "my rap is" n' "ive been doin it since...just a hype line nothin complex or special about it

Rivals if they get too close, then I'ma psych em in
Yes I'm at the end of the tunnel, but the light is dim //

multies ok but not a perfect rhyme..but it doesnt really throw it off so ya good on that one but watch yaself you can fuck yaself over doin that in text cuz sumone may pronounce it differently then u n fuck it up...
(example i'm from boston Car is Caa door is dooa get it?)

I can see, demons and the Devil are ahead of me
Steadily, cleverly I devastate my enemies //

multies are better on this one but there is really no signifigent point to this line so its just filler...

I revel beef, never try to beat cause I never bleed
A pedigree, of a higher quality a better breed //

another hype line wit simple rhymes... you need a little more complexity to ya verses...

Higher than a building ( puff puff ) I'm smellin trees
Enemies, always ask for mercy but it's never peace //

like the meta4... but again too simple

I go in the studio they know my flow is heavenly
Bars of similes I welcome plenty to my weaponry //

the rhyme is a near rhyme not a perfect rhyme but again u fitted to close enough to shit on so its good...

Haters hate but they know I'm the bomb cause I be mentally
Haunting competition then I stomp em like a centipede //

way too simple n rappin about stopin em like a centipede is played out(any stompin bug reference is)

Sentiments forgotten when I'm droppin on the better beats
Tell to keep talking but quit stalling and prepare for me //

hype line... overall theres no real point to this spit other then your own hype.... which is perfectly fine to do but usally when sumone does a hype drop they try to come ther hardest... ya dont wanna say ya the best n rhyme like your five(no offence) make ya shit more complex you got the potential ya just need sum work....

~peace~

[Outword]

Uh... CC really has some incredible lyricists that make even dope artists look bad with their written lines... I was amazed.

[RiZal]

That's the kind of constructive criticism I been looking for
Thanks for the feedback I appreciate it fam